Sunday, August 30, 2015

How Codependent Love Addicts Can Make A Change

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By Shawn Hunter


You will run into a lot of problems should you have certain addiction problems relating to love. Codependent love addicts have a hard time on a daily basis because there are many classic characteristics that will set them back. Some people go through their whole life coping in this way. However, it will definitely improve the quality of life by seeking professional help.

Someone who is codependent will struggle with control, and this involves controlling others in a relationships as well as being controlled by others. This can make one comfortable having that sense of responsibility. However, one also begins to be resentful and blame comes into play because of the boundaries that they have trouble controlling.

Most of this comes back to situations in their childhood which was not healthy. There was often neglect and abandonment involved. This causes one to be fearful of being rejected in certain relationships. They are fearful of being intimate because of the fact that they might at anytime be neglected by their partner. It makes the relationship unhealthy.

It is common to see someone who wants to control another person. Of course, it could work the other way around where someone could have control over them. This would make them comfortable with a sense of responsibility. Although, resentment will always come into the picture. A lot of the time, they will blame others because of the fact that there were no boundaries in the first place.

People who suffer from this enjoy being taken care of. It is not a reality, but this also goes back to childhood where there may have been some form of rejection or abandonment. One does not feel that they are adequate and there is always something that is missing in their lives. They will have difficulty with intimate relationships. A relationship, is therefore not healthy.

Someone who is a love addict as well will try and blend in, but that fear will always be there. They will be afraid of the intimacy, but will also fear abandonment. Below they will be struggling, but this does not show on the outside. They appear to be just like anyone else and able to function like any other human being. This is more like an obsessive compulsive sort of behaviour.

A love addict will go though a stage or withdrawal should they not be in a relationship. However, this is not healthy since they battle to connect or bond with anyone. They were not able to do this as a child either and this has not since changed in anyway. They were neglected during this time and this is where the fear creeps in. It adds to the low self-esteem that they carry around with them.

A love addict will battle with self care as they focus more and more on obsessive thoughts of fantasizing and various relationships. In severe cases, they will continue to return to previous relationships and become abusive. The will probably only see things in their partner in a negative light. Their behavior will become offensive and obscure.




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